Phan Attack
by Saru Wolfe
Summary: The Phangirls attack again! The graveyard scene goes horribly wrong when some dedicated Phans decide to rescue the Phantom.


A small carriage thundered down the road, heading toward the cemetery...

Meanwhile, a group of around a dozen teenage girls snuck into the graveyard. They started to drift towards different headstones and statues to hide behind. "Are you sure this is the place?" Elizabeth asked.

Rachel nodded. "They'll be here any minute now. And then..." She addressed the entire group. "...we save the Phantom!" There were cheers. "Places, everyone!" They could hear the carriage now. Elizabeth and Rachel swung around behind a statue and tried not to bounce from excitement. The carriage came up, stopped, and went away. A few moments later, a crunch of snow and the ruffle of a cloak caused several girls to press their hands to their mouths in order to maintain silence. They could hear Christine's voice in the distance; Rachel and Elizabeth, along with several others, began mouthing the words.

The Phantom slid into place, waiting for Christine to come closer. He thought he heard a slight giggle, but he knew it was impossible. No one else was out here. He had wired the lamp and doors on the grave; now Christine was in sight. His breathing quickened.

Christine's song ended and the Phantom began to sing to her. The girls' eyes began to glaze over at the sound of his voice and several deep sighs were emitted. Elizabeth was snickering at the Phantom's line "_...far from my fathering gaze_" when one girl squealed, "I see him! I see him!" and everyone rushed out screaming, "The Phantom! Get the Phantom!"

Erik looked down at them in terror. The first thing that ran through his mind was that a mob had found him, but that was ridiculous. These were all Christine's age or younger, and girls besides. Then, before he could react, he was being pulled down to ground level. When he regained his wits, he realized that they were dragging him away from Christine. "Christine!" he bellowed, trying to run back to her.

Instantly the girls were in front of him. "You don't need Christine!" they yelled. "She can't even make up her own mind!" They turned around to make several rude comments to Christine.

Erik tried once again to move through them, but their combined strength kept him there. He couldn't even move around them. Desperately, he pulled out his sword, not really sure that he could use it. "Let me through!" he demanded.

The reaction was not expected. "Ooh!" someone giggled. "He looks so sexy in that pose!" Cries of, "Does anyone have a camera?" were heard among the group. Fortunately for the Phantom, no one had thought to bring a camera.

Then Christine managed to take action. "Angel," she whimpered, and she took a few steps closer to the group.

The girls turned and snarled, as one, "He doesn't need you!" Rachel added, "Why don't you run back to your fop boyfriend, Raoul? You seemed so happy with him a few minutes ago!" More quietly, so as not to be heard by Christine, Elizabeth muttered, "Though I don't see how." They giggled.

Needless to say, the Phantom was somewhat bewildered. "But - how did you know - you can't..."

Elizabeth grinned. "Oh, we know these things," she said indifferently.

Suddenly, everyone heard, "Christine! Christine!" but it wasn't coming from any of them. Rachel and Elizabeth looked at each other. They had forgotten that the fop was supposed to show up. They were only lucky that he was as late as he was.

Suddenly, Raoul rode into view. "SWOOSH!" Elizabeth and Rachel yelled and flipped their hair. Everyone laughed except Christine and Raoul, who looked confused, and the Phantom, who merely raised an eyebrow.

Raoul looked helplessly at Christine. "Um..." He seemed to reach a conclusion. "The monster has taken all of those poor girls hostage!"

It was hysterically funny to the girls. "You have it the wrong way, fop-boy!" someone managed in between bursts of laughter. "We're saving the Phantom..." Rachel began. "...from that!" Elizabeth finished, pointing at Christine.

Erik frowned. "I love her!" he said, his voice cutting through the laughter.

The girls seemed upset. "She's just going to hurt you!" "She's no good!" "We know this stuff!" Elizabeth finished with a plaintive, "Come on, Erik!"

The Phantom jumped at his name being used. "If you know it all," he growled, "then you must know about..."

Rachel sighed. "Your face, we know." She giggled. "Your little dry skin problem." There was a chorus of agreement.

Erik stared. All these girls had seen his face and didn't care. _They must be completely insane_, he thought. But, then, many said he was, as well. He shook his head slowly.

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Don't make us kidnap you," she threatened. They all moved in closer. One whispered, "He's so _hot_ when he's confused."

Rachel disagreed. "Don't be stupid, he's hot all the time." They giggled, nodding.

Erik thought it was very hard to appear threatening when all these girls were ogling over him. He was very uncomfortable. He looked over at Christine, who was clinging to her fop, and sighed. Going with them could be no worse than getting subdued by a group of teenage girls. "I'll come," he said simply.

There were cheers all around. As they led him off, they chanted, "We've got the Phantom! We've got the Phantom!" Then they all began a sing-along of all his songs.

Raoul, breathing a sigh of relief, looked over at Christine. She was pouting. "Well, the monster is gone," he said, drawing her close. "The Phantom will haunt you no more."

She shoved him away. "Oh, go get a haircut, Raoul," she snapped, storming off in the snow.


End file.
